love [luhv] noun, verb, loved, loving.
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
–verb (used without object)
21. to have love or affection for another person; be in love. [dictionary.com]
after countless conversations with friends over their failed relationships, after dissecting the situation inside out and seeing no other conclusion, after finally figuring out that people are who they are regardless of who they’re with and regardless of themselves… i’ve figured something out.
love is not just a noun – not just an emotion that you feel. it’s a verb..its an action.. its in the way you are and its in what you do.
sometimes i hear people say, “oh i love him because he does this for me, and that and he makes me feel this way and that way.” and its is such a loaded, one sided view on love. real love, true love, is selfLESS, not selfish. its not about naming all the ways he loves u because it makes u feel better about urself. its not about grand gestures and gifts. its about the way he looks at you when you wake up in the morning. its about you appreciating the way she makes you lunch when you dont have time. its about the little things. the things that are usually expected but shouldnt be. the little things that make u fall head over heels, ridiculously in love.
i feel as if people are afraid to work. that love “feeling” starts to go away and all of sudden they forget about “acting” love. and i’m not talking about holding hands, or pda, or being gross and teenage-like acting. i’m talking about keeping that respect for your partner. im talking about not forgetting about his feelings as you try and acknowledge yours. the act of love should prevail, even after the feel of love has gone away. cuz i’ve been learning, that sometimes, a selfless act of love helps make that selfish love feeling come back. and even if it doesnt, its what keeps the two of you respecting each other and sharing love even if it means no longer being in love with each other. and even if it doesnt work, at least you can can say that you worked at it.. and that you worked at you.
im not sayin that being selfish is a bad thing. the only lifelong relationship you have is with yourself, and being selfish nurtures that. but when you decide to love somebody, its not just about you. its not just about me. its about us. and sometimes even i can forget that.
its kind of simple really. but we all know that sometimes the simple things can be the hardest to do. its something i’m working on one day at a time.