4 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR WOMAN LESS PISSED AT YOU.

If you’re in a relationship – of any kind – fighting at some point is inevitable. I often hear guys complaining about their women, saying that they don’t ever even know what the fuck the fight is about. What they don’t know is that a fight, or their wrongs, can be an extremely powerful weapon in the arms of a smart woman. Obviously if you fucked up, you’re going to have to make it up to us. Could be a good motivator to initiate the fight in the first place. I’m not saying that it’s fair for a bitch to make a fuss over nothing just so you’ll kiss her ass, but in some cases guys are so oblivious that it can be our only choice. After a dude is initially called out, it’s up to him to decide how the rest of the conversation will turn out. He can either accept the argument and the fact that he was wrong, or he can be a typical dude and fight the shit out of it, which then leads to a much more serious fight. Want to avoid it? Here are 5 things you can do to get you back on her good side…

BUY HER FLOWERS

Too easy right? When it comes to flowers, guys are f-cking clueless. Your woman doesn’t want a bouquet of dusty red carnations. It is the thought that counts though. No matter how much us females realize that receiving flowers right after a fight is just a textbook way of saying ‘sorry’, it still makes our hearts feel like it’ll float up into our throat. To avoid fights in the future, surprise her with flowers here and there, even if everything is all good. That’s like getting an awesome letter in the mail completely out of the blue, a lovely way to be reminded that someone’s thinking fondly of you. But I wouldn’t recommend that a man got into habit of flower sending/giving, it shouldn’t be a regular thing. Then she’ll just learn to expect it and it wont have the same meaning.

TAKE HER SOMEWHERE

It might be hard to take your lady somewhere nice after a spat seeing as she’ll probably fight you off and tell you, dramatically, that she never wants to see your pathetic ass again. You have to let a little time pass between the fight, maybe even a day or two. Of course you should be buttering her up the whole time so that if and when you finally take her on the little trip of your choice, she’ll feel more comfortable and less like a sucker who forgave you. You don’t have to take her far, I’m not saying booking a flight to Paris is your only option, although that definitely should work. Think about who this person is and what makes her happy. A trip to Coney for a winter picnic on the sand, Sunday sundaes at Serendipity. The possibilities are endless, just be original. Prove to us that you actually thought about something, or more importantly about us!

MAKE HER DINNER

There’s something about watching a man maneuver around a kitchen that makes b-tches wet. Even if you have no idea what you’re doing, at least try to look like you are, pride can be so adorable! Aside from it being hot and potentially very impressive depending on your skill level, it’s typically a role reversal. were always the ones who cooks at home and you'll usually do the dishes and help us prep, so anytime you tell us to just lay on the couch, and let you take care of everything, I’m naturally smitten. Make sure to get all the groceries yourself, asking her to take care of it is completely beside the point. And if you’re not familiar with cooking, follow the f-cking recipe. Even if your food tastes like shit, it’ll be hard for her not to forgive you, a bruised ego is charming in the midst of fighting. If you really messed up or you’re looking for instant gratification and forgiveness, make dessert. You can just buy COOKIES and ice cream, but it’ll be sweet in more ways than one. Oh yeah, and try to spell her name with food at some point. It’s completely retarded, but it’s one of those things that makes girls go gay for you.

WORSHIP HER BODY

They don’t call it make-up sex for nothing! I’ve heard some people say that sometimes they picked fights strictly for the hot ass angry sex that would ensue. Remember in A History of Violence after Viggo’s wife finds out his secret and is all pissed at him, they have crazy half-rape bruise sex in the stairs while she’s trying to run away from him? G-d damn, they are too sexy. You don’t want to go about things like you’re the boss though, even if that’s how it usually plays out in the bedroom. You should make her feel like she’s in control, and the best way to do that is by getting her really gassed first. Tell her how beautiful she is, let her know with all the vocabulary you’ve retained how she makes you feel, and what the sight of her naked body does to you. Then compliment her individually on each one of her body parts, because women have complexes all over. She has a nice ass, yes, but why? Then once you’ve got her turned on just by the thought of herself, show each of those individual spots some personal, physical love. It may seem a bit silly to be so tedious, but remember, you’re worshiping her. By then she’ll probably be begging for it, which is exactly what you want.