Thursday, January 7, 2010
FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT.
Sure, we fight, but I’ve noticed that our fighting patterns are more of a playful thing mixed with boredom than actual lasting arguments.
Sometimes we’ll go back and fourth saying mean shit and then one of us will just say “what is this? It’s stupid.
We’ve had some disagreements that couldn’t be solved so easily, but I’m happy to say that those are so rare I can hardly even recall what they were about.
I think that period when the fighting begins is when you can start to look ahead into your future compatibility. I’m not saying you should jump ship after the first fight, because fighting is normal and even healthy in some cases. Cant have peace without war.
But you have to look at the big picture, at what it is you’re actually fighting about. If it’s a recurring argument then you might have a problem, because if someone hasn’t made the effort to change for you then, they wont in the future. Or they might say they will, but it’s not as simple as that.
We should look at relationships the way we look at teenagers. We know that they’re growing, going through shit, they’re fragile, and they’re very spontaneous. A relationship can get bored too, and then comes the cry for help, just like an adolescent. When kids scream and stop their feet they’re crying out for help, and I think when fighting becomes a constant thing in a relationship, that’s just the relationships way of crying for help too. In that case, you have to tend to one another and really truly listen to your partner, understand where it is they’re coming from, or at least come up with a positive compromise that leaves everyone happy, and not miserable like many compromises can. But if one of you always has to have the last word and you’re simply both too stubborn to see things another way, it’s time to pack it up and go. I’m not saying you can’t have differences either, but certain differences just can’t be altered, and trying to might make things even worse.
There have been been a few couples crumbling around me, all while some others are coming together, so I guess that’s the balance of life. It’s not fair, but I think it may just be the worlds way of recycling.